"The thing is, if you just do stuff, and nothing happens, what's it all mean?"

Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Lighter Side of Darkness #2: Not Better Curtain Call

The true succeeders of each royal house, 
By God's fair ordinance conjoin together! 
And let their heirs, God, if thy will be so. 
Enrich the time to come with smooth-faced peace, 
With smiling plenty and fair prosperous days! 
Abate the edge of traitors, gracious Lord, 
That would reduce these bloody days again, 
And make poor England weep in streams of blood! 
Let them not live to taste this land's increase 
That would with treason wound this fair land's peace! 

Now civil wounds are stopp'd, peace lives again: 
That she may long live here, God say amen!

Shout out to Edwin Lew, a fellow disciple in the school of "holy moley Breaking Bad is fucking awesome" (it's a big school), for inspiring this revelry into regressive madness. 

With all the predictions about the final scenes of the finale being tossed about, I thought I'd get zany...but what if... 

Here goes...

....Final sequence of tomorrow's Breaking Bad finale (today's the eve, get it?)....

Uncle Jack's Compound of Hate has been blown up ("Vaymanos!"). Just like the stage in the music video below, it's a post-apocalyptic wasteland (maybe Walt's glasses are on display somewhere, acting like the eyes of T.J. 

Over-arching symbols from the series are strewn throughout the devastation, level sands stretching far away (maybe we find out that Todd had an exact replica of the pink teddy bear, and it gets burned...whoa!). A million flies cover the corpses (there is then a montage of a million separate fly p.o.v. shots). Maybe we find out that Uncle Jack, like Oogie-Boogie from Nightmare B4 Christmas, is actually a human shell full of millions of flies. They gotta do something nuts to up the ante after Gus's Face-Off.

Then, out from the rubble (like a, comes Saul Goodman. He sings the song below (like, recreates McGuire's performance exactly). At the end, he stares directly into the camera, and plugs the upcoming "Better Call Saul" spin-off (in heroic couplet form). He shrugs, as Dave Porter's score emulates some vaudevillian rag.

Fade to black

*Executive Producer Vince Gilligan*

Hey, it could happen...

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